ADHD EXTREME DAY…..

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ADHD_Broken_Heart

my horoscope read as such:

Astrology - Today's Pisces Horoscope

Get your paperwork done early. Get all your work done early, for that matter, because you won't feel like doing anything but chatting up a casual, lighthearted storm by the time night falls.

 

Compatibility: Scorpio

Mood: Focus

Lucky Color: Shadow Black

Lucky Number: 46

Lucky Time of Day: 7pm

i am not the one that normally follow horoscopes but i had to take note of this one. this horoscope is the total opposite of everything that i am going to accomplish today.

i signed on to my work computer at 7:30am EST and have nothing to show for it. i have been sitting here in a daze and cannot tell you why. i feel like i am in a drug induced haze. i am thinking it is one of my new medications that has me like this. today is the 3rd day that i have taken it and my body is reacting to it. it is an anxiety medication that’s supposed to help motivate me out of my daily funk. what it’s actually doing is making me confused and stopping me from moving forward or backwards. i wish i didn’t have to take all of these damn medications. they are supposed to help me get better but while they are ramping up to their maximum beneficial doses they are making me a mental zombie. i have not even looked at my work computer which means i will be on the clock for hours longer than i want to be. that brings me to today’s horoscope.

my horoscope says:

1. get your paperwork done early. - i have been on the clock for  3 1/2 hours and haven’t completed a thing.

2. get ALL work done early. – not only is my paperwork not done, i have not completed any of my daily tasks that are due right now.

3. you won't feel like doing anything but chatting up a casual, lighthearted storm by the time night falls. – too late for that little tidbit! i have done nothing but hang out on social networking sites all morning. when night falls, i will still be working.

4. Mood: Focus – this couldn’t be more wrong. there is not an ounce of Focus in my body right now.

5. Lucky Color: Shadow Black – that’s the color it will be outside my window when i get off of work.

6. Lucky Time of Day: 7pm – the reason this will be my “Lucky” time of the day is due to the fact this is the time i will be getting off of work tonight when it should be 4:30pm EST.

well, i am hoping something changes and this medication subsides enough were i can be at least 25% productive today. on that note, i will mosey on over to the work computer and try it again. wish me luck!

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Snow Day. Which way will it go Day.

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snowday

woo hoo it’s a snow day! not really on the woo hoo! i was being sarcastic! i am not a fan of snow and all that comes with it. when the scene outside looks like a wintery postcard, it depresses me inside. even though i am a reclusive homebody, i hate having the option to come and go freely taken away from me. you know how it is, we always want something when we can’t have it.

the reason i say, “which way will it go Day.” is due to things are a little screwy this morning. i got up this morning, as i do every Tuesday morning, to watch my favorite anime and it is all the way off in left field. they have gone away from the storyline and put out a Halloween themed episode. ummm, i don’t think they noticed that we’re in the beginning of January and Halloween is a ways a way. what a waste! that was the same as tuning in to the Real Housewives of Atlanta and they had a whole show with them talking about their favorite Dr. Seuss books calmly over glasses of wine. i couldn’t even watch it. i then decided to reply to my social networking friends and family and when i sat down at my laptop, my “D” key popped off. WTF! now i have to sit here at my computer that i use for work to type this. i still won’t get to the replies. why? i had to wait for my Windows Live Writer to download an update upgrading it from Beta to Live Essentials 2011. it was a slow download. on top of that, i had to set the program up from scratch. i had to put my blog addresses, sign-ons and passwords into the program, then add the text templates to keep everything uniform. after that, i have 10 minutes before i have to log in to work. oh well! i tried to be productive this morning.

to those that have to go out in the snow, be careful and get to your destinations safely. to those who don’t, grab your Snuggie, a good book and enjoy the day and try to relax.

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95 More Useless Facts About Me…..(Jan 2011 edition)

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useless

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: French Vanilla Coffee  clip_image002[8]

2. Last phone call: Adrienne clip_image004[4]

3. Last text message:  Adrienne

4. Last song you listened to:  Not Like Crazy by Jill Scott (Adrienne’s answer tone for me.) There’s a pattern developing. LOL

HAVE YOU EVER:

5. Dated someone twice: Yes

6. Been cheated on: Yes...beginning to think, “Who hasn’t?”

7. Kissed someone & regretted it: Yes...cigarette breath clip_image006[4]

8. Lost someone special: Yes. my 1st wife

9. Been depressed:  I should be asked if I’m ever not depressed.

10. Been drunk and threw up: When I was 15. Last time.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

11. Black

12. Dark Blue

13. Mahogany Brown

LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

14. Made a new friend: Yes. Thank you Interwebs!

15. Fallen out of love:   Yes. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever.

16. Laughed until you cried: Yes. My friend Adrienne be on some crazy shit sometimes! clip_image008[4]

17. Met someone who changed you: There are plenty.

18. Found out who your true friends were: Yes! You find this out when it’s time to move or help is needed with a past due bill.

19. Found out someone was talking about you: I would be surprised if they didn’t! clip_image010[6]

20. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: On my Facebook friend’s list, I have kissed plenty! clip_image012[6]

21. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: on Multiply, none. on Facebook, plenty

22. How many kids do you want to have: I have 2 adults at 27 years old and 25 years old.

23. Do you have any pets: Yes. A dog slash/kid wannabe named Jackson.clip_image014[4]

24. Do you want to change your name: Nope. It has already been changed 3 times.

25. What did you do for your last birthday?  I slept through it because I forgot it was my birthday. clip_image016[4]clip_image018[4]clip_image020[4]

CURRENT

26. What time did you wake up today:   4:00 a.m. clip_image022[6]

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?  I was catching up on my anime. The Winter season anime just started.

28. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I can’t wait for the results of my biopsy from this past Friday.

29. Last time you saw your Father: It has been years. He is still promising to come visit me even though he can’t remember the state I live in.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:   I wish I had less health issues. 

31. What are you listening to right now: The sound of an electric heater.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: WOW! This was random, but yes.

33. What's getting on your nerves right now:  I’m actually in a good mood and have no complaints.

34. Most visited web page:  Facebook

35. What's your real name: Xirus FordMontgomery 

36. Nicknames: Monte or Montgomery

37. Relationship Status: Relationship free for 7 years

38. Zodiac sign: Pisces

39. Male or female: Since I am a male lesbian, I say female.clip_image010[7]

40. Elementary: My dear Watson.

41. Middle School:  Back in the middle ages.

42. High school/college: Long enough to get the paper and head to the military before graduation.

43. Hair color: Bald

44. Height:   5'10"

45. Do you have a crush on someone? Yep! The person who signs my check weekly. I love him and don’t know what he looks like! clip_image012[7]

46. What do you like about yourself? : I takes a licking and keep on ticking! clip_image024[4]

47. Piercings:  Ears only.

48. Tattoos: 8

49. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :

50. First surgery: ERCP - Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangiopancreatography (Try to say that 3 times really fast!)

51. First piercing: Ears

52. First best friend: A nerd named Preston

53. First sport you joined: Baseball

54. First vacation: Paris, France

55. First pair of trainers: It depends on what you mean by “trainers”?

RIGHT NOW:

56. Eating: Frosted Flakes

57. I'm about to: Leave the computer and get some work done soon as I answer these questions.

58. Listening: Tom Joyner Morning Show.

59. Waiting: For 4:30 p.m. clip_image022[7]

YOUR FUTURE :

60. Want kids? : I have a four legged one running around.

61. Get Married?: Twice is enough

62. Career? :  Still working on it.

WHICH IS BETTER :

63. Lips or eyes: Eyes. I love exotic looking eyes.

64. Hugs or kisses:  I am into tight sexually charged bear hugs.

65. Shorter or taller: Same Height.

66. Older or Younger : Younger

67. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous clip_image026[4]

68. Nice stomach or nice arms?  Stomach

69. Sensitive or loud : Sensitive

70. Hook-up or relationship: Hook-up most definitely.

71. Trouble-maker or hesitant: Hesitant. Too old to make trouble.

HAVE YOU EVER:

72. Kissed a stranger: Yes. Plenty

73. Drank hard liquor: Yes. Somebody’s offering?

74. Lost glasses/contacts: It’s been a while.

75. Sex on first date:  Yes.

76. Broken someone’s heart: Never clip_image028[4]

77. Been arrested: No

78. Turned someone down: Yes

79. Cried when someone died: Yes clip_image030[4]

80. Fallen for a friend?: Yes clip_image032[4]

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: Yes

82. Miracles: Yes

83. Love at first sight: Yes

84. Heaven: Yes

85. Santa Claus: Where he be at! Still ain’t found him! clip_image034[6]

86. Kiss on the first date: Yes

87. Angels:  No. If you actually read the bible passages referring to them, you wouldn’t either!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

88. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No. I have ADHD and can barely keep up with 1.

89. Did you sing today?: No. Just switched to Russ Parr Morning Show. Let’s hope they have better tunes. clip_image036[4]

90. Ever cheated on somebody?: No.

91. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?  I wouldn't.

92. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? None. 2010 was my worst year of record!

93. Are you afraid of falling in love? : That’s not for me. No interest.

94. Did you enjoy doing this survey? : It distracted me to the point that I was late for work.

95. clip_image034[7]

i’m actually glad that it’s Monday!!!!!

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happy-monday-45

i am actually glad the weekend is over with. i spent this weekend recuperating from a procedure that i had done on Friday.

i went to see a Cancer Specialist on Friday to find out my treatment options for treating a Lymphoma Cancer that i have. i was told that the tests that were ran during my hospital stay where not conclusive enough to direct my course of treatment. i was given the options of coming back for a surgery to do EXACTLY what they have already done in the hospital or i could have a biopsy done right there in the office. since, i am trying to work everything around my current work schedule, i opted for the in office procedure. i had no idea what to expect.

i ended of having a lymph node removed so that it could be tested. the doctor had to make an incision in my groin and pull it out. there was a very long needle filled with drugs that was “supposed to” deaden the spot of the operation. the reason that i say “supposed to” is due to the fact that i was still feeling what was going on during the procedure. i actually felt when the doctor was inside of my groin and actually pulling the lymph node out. i felt the tugging and the burning sensation. i had him shoot more drugs into the spot and i still felt what was going on. i was extremely happy when that was over with. after the procedure, i hobbled out to my car. that is one time that i wished i had an automatic car and not a standard. on my way home, i stopped at the Chinese food restaurant to treat myself for putting up with that ordeal.

now it was Friday evening and i was in pain. i do not think the pain would have been around for so long if it wasn’t for all of the other stuff that had recently happened to my body, such as the multiple IV, shots, tubes down my throat, multiple blood draws, CAT scans and ultrasounds. that is a lot for a body to go through in a short period of time. this entire weekend, i stayed doped up on pain medication. it is now wearing out of my system. thank goodness! i have to be on the clock in about an hour to clean up any loose ends from leaving work early on Friday.

i am actually glad it’s Monday, because i can try to get some type of normalcy in my life until i get the test results from the biopsy, which will be in about a week. wish me luck that i will be able to take care of things with Chemo treatments and not have to deal with something more invasive.

on that note, i hope who ever reads this has a great week starting with a Happy Monday!

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this makes no sense!!!!!

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i finally finished with my work day when i started to get undressed so i can immediately head off to bed. what do i find to my astonishment, i find that i am so ashy that i am either 1, trying to turn white, 2, denied my body of any hydration since November or 3, i actually put on tube socks instead of footies this morning. let this be an example of how NOT to treat your skin. if i wasn’t going to bed right now, i would fill my entire tub up with some Vaseline Intensive Care lotion. WOW @ my fuckery!

Photo-0005

WOW at making this 2010 part 2…..

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sad2

i was hoping to force behavioral changes on myself with this new year. as we all know, this is not a good thing. a person should only change if they are ready for the change.

i did not go anywhere for New Years and that’s a good thing. i am not supposed to drink with the medication i am taking and if i would have left this house, i would have been having a drink. not leaving the house, for whatever reason, is what makes me sad. i barely left my home in 2010 due to health issues and i did not want to start this year off by locking myself up also.

i subconsciously sat down to write this blog entry. i will have to just sit at my computer to write something. i usually have too many thoughts running through my head of what i want to say, but become overwhelmed and i write nothing. i also worry about not being able to devote the time to make sure everything is grammatically correct and spelled correctly. that is out the door for this year. it takes too much time to proof things before i send it out. i’m not saying that i will be going to Ebonics level but if the spellcheck doesn’t catch it, i am not going back to reread anything. i mentioned the blog entry thing due to it is now the 2nd and i hadn’t written anything. before i know it, will be Summer and i will only have written 2 or 3 posts.

another issue i had in 2010 that’s here today is not taking better care of my health. when i say that, i mean i do not eat enough or properly. i some how lost that trigger that tells people when to eat. i have even tried putting meals on a schedule and that doesn’t work either. i hate eating just for the sake of eating. i know i need to but it’s hard to keep things down this way.

it is now 7:45 pm EST and i am about to shower, get dressed and go shopping. that will take care of me not leaving the house. i hope i feel better after getting out and about.

with this blog entry, i have satisfied one of my new year’s resolutions of posting on a regular basis. i will just have to keep it up. it’s not going to be every day, but it will be more than once every 3 or 4 months.

when i leave the house, the 1st thing i’m going to do is get me something to eat. i have gone the past 2 days without eating. i am going to stuff myself. after that, i will make sure i go grocery shopping for foods that i like to indulge in. doing this will most likely have me gaining 20 lbs. and i really do not care. as long as something is going in my system it should be all good.

well, on that note, i bid you good evening and good night! i am doing this before i become distracted and change my mind about leaving the house or doing anything for that matter.

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Computer Customizations

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Customization
this entry is the first of more to come. i wanted to keep track of the many changes that i make to my computers. i hope my changes can inspire others to make changes of their own. if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Operating System:            Windows 7 Home Premium 32-bit
Computer Make/Model:     Dell Studio 1537  
Customization Tools:        WindowBlinds 7;various icon downloads from internet
Customization Date:         2 January 2011
Desktop Capture 1-2-11

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