why does busting my ass to find a job make me feel so fucked up?!


as i sit here thinking about the state of employment or rather unemployment, that question came to mind. it is a question that crosses my mind more and more frequently.

currently i am unemployed and have been so for the past 15 months. i have not been without a job since i was a teenager. i am not alone. many of my older colleagues are experiencing this also, for the first time in their lives. i was in the Unemployment Office, recently, and there was an 80 year old man trying to get benefits after being laid off. i thought to myself, “DAMN! i would hate to be 80 going through this bullshit!”

employers know they can basically write their own tickets in this current market and they have been showing their asses every chance they get.(too many examples to list) we who are currently unemployed and who have been with their jobs for 15, 20, 25+ years are now paying for the arrogance and unprofessional practices of the youngsters that came after us. some of the “old guard” at larger corporations are remembering the frustrations they felt in dealing with the fresh out of college assholes with chips on their shoulders who were not afraid to show it. they knew there was another job opening right down the street or that they could move back in with mommy and daddy while they did some “soul searching”.

it is not like others and myself aren’t looking for jobs. it is not hard to apply for jobs at all. in the time it took me to write this, i could have added another 20 completed applications on-line that will be ignored and not answered. let’s not even think about trying to use a headhunter in this economy. no one who’s unemployed can afford that. i have applied for positions that were a significant cut in pay from what i was making. only to be told, i was not going to be hired because i would not be happy working for those wages and i would stay in the position just long enough until something better came along. **blank stare** i wanted to tell them at that point, “look you assholes! i have bills that need to be paid NOW! i am not thinking of using your company as though it was a $2.00 hooker!” it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation when looking for a job, if you had a high salary and apply for jobs at a lower wage. the jobs in my salary range already have 30+ applicants applying for it before i even apply. i still apply in the hopes it is not another position posted due to the company’s internal and external applicant requirements or a position that will be swallowed up by nepotism or cronyism.

i will stop here with my thoughts on this subject. this post is actually longer than i had planned. i wanted to put something down to refer to when it’s years down the line and i have been working with an employer for a number of years and think about the bullshit that was my recession.


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