this marks my 10th year here in Louisville, KY. 10 years ago i had never even heard of this place. who knew i would spend the majority of my life here. after traveling all my youth, i may end up settling down here. who knows.
tomorrow starts my new 36 hour work schedule. i hope it makes a difference. my doctor feels it will enhance my quality of life. i hope so.
july 1st marks my 7th year with my current employer. this is a milestone for me as an adult. i have traveled so much that i have not had the chance to establish roots anywhere.
finally, on july 4th will mark the 3rd year that jackson has come into my life with all of his being hyper and jumping around.
i am thankful for all of this. this will be a mentally heady couple of days for me. they are filled with anniversaries and firsts for me. i am thankful that i have you all to share this time with me. i am looking for many more times such as these. life is good and i cannot complain.
take care one and all and good night!
monte|xirus and jackson
I sit here feeling guilty because I have not been online for a very long time. This is because I have been keeping myself swamped with work. Case in point, I spent my Sunday working on a training manual for work. Was this something necessitated by work? No. It is because I am mentally flawed when it comes to partaking of things of fun "outside" of things that are in connection to my job.
Due to this way of thinking, I have been put on a restricted work week by my doctor. I am no longer allowed to work overtime. I am not allowed to work more than a 36 hour work week at least for the next year. It is my fault that it has come to this. I have been very obsessive when it comes to work. There is no reason I needed to do this. The money is not an issue. I make enough money on a regular work week to pay all expenses and then some. I was upset by this mandate at 1st but I am slowly dealing with it. That is when I finish with this manual. After that, I plan to enjoy my personal life. I am now going to get my affairs in order for the upcoming week. Wish me luck.
just when i thought it was safe to slow down and smell the roses... things are picking up at work and it has been hard to blog like i want. as i mentioned in the last blog that the new computer was a bust. i am in search of a new one that will not "burn" me up when i am using it. off to work i go now. i will try to blog when i can. talk to you soon.
i guess things do not always work out the way we want or hope. i received the new anticipated computer. it was like christmas when it got here. i tore open the boxes like a kid with a new toy. (which i was.) everything was easy enough to hook up, load and connect to the internet. so, this is where the fun begins?????
1st. the fingerprint reader was a pain to operate. i had to scan my finger 3 times to get the damn thing to work initially. on the 3rd try it would always say fail. then i finally got to the point where i was getting the hang of the software but it was like playing a stealth game where i had to sneak up on the reader just to get it to act right.
2nd, even though the unit has a 15 inch monitor, it seem a little big to me for a laptop. i guess because it has a LCD wide screen. when dell says wide, they mean wide. i did not like the size. it seem more to me as a desktop replacement as opposed to a laptop. on top of that, it is a little heavier than my current laptop.
3rd. the damn thing ran hot. it was so hot that i burned my leg with it. i was keying on it watching tv today and dozed off. when i woke up, i thought i had a hot iron sitting on my leg.
right then and there, i decided it had to go back. that is sad because i have had the thing less than a week. i am not going to spend a crazy amount of money on something i am not going to be happy with. dell has a 21 day return policy and trust me, they are getting it back waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before their 21 days. after that experience i realized that i should be more thankful for the laptop that i have. i have not had this thing for 6 months and because i was bored, i wanted another one. oh well! i lived and i learned.
i am now sitting here with my diet coke with lime and my legal knockout drug of choice and off to bed i go. i wish everyone well and i hope to talk to you soon.
monte|xirus or whatever you like. i will still answer. LOL
i am in the midst of caling it a day. i got my new laptop and i have been all over this thing since it arrived. i am enjoying the hell out of it. it has been a while since i have been this excited over a piece of electronics. it is about 2 or 3 minutes before i have to have the lights off and in bed. i am making 10 pm my new normal bed time. a part of my nightly insomnia is caused from not having a regular bed time. my doctor suggested i get a regular time and keep it. i had a change in medication yesterday in regards to my bipolar. i have what is called cycling. that is when my bipolar state go from manic to depressive constantly in rapid cycles. the new medication is making me sleepy. i am about to fall onto the floor. after i finish screaming out the verses to this tyrese song i am hitting the shut off button. it is something about this "lately by tyrese" that makes you have to sing it out loud every time you hear it. i want to say thank you to my multiply for being a part of my life and always offering me good advice. you all are a part of the reason that i am thankful for today.
take care one and all.
10:06:09 PM EDT
Hearing lately by tyrese from tyrese cd
i am in the midst of calling it a day. i got my new laptop and i have been all over this thing since it arrived. i am enjoying the hell out of it. it has been a while since i have been this excited over a piece of electronics. it is about 2 or 3 minutes before i have to have the lights off and in bed. i am making 10 pm my new normal bed time. a part of my nightly insomnia is caused from not having a regular bed time. my doctor suggested i get a regular time and keep it. i had a change in medication yesterday in regards to my bipolar. i have what is called cycling. that is when my bipolar state goes from manic to depressive constantly in rapid cycles. this was keeping me awake each night to the point i was completely drained by the next morning. the new medication is making me sleepy. i am about to fall onto the floor. after i finish screaming out the verses to this tyrese song i am hitting the shut off button. it is something about this "lately by tyrese" that makes you have to sing it out loud every time you hear it. i want to say thank you to my multiply family for being a part of my life and always offering me good advice. you all are a part of the reason that i am thankful for today.
take care one and all
i get to go to bed tonight with pleasant dreams in my head. i received a confirmation from Dell that my new laptop will be here tomorrow. i made sure they have me the carrier's tracking number. i have been tricked by them before and it aint happening again. i cannot wait to get it setup. i hope i do not spend too much time tomorrow night playing on it to get up for work the next day. now that would be bad. oh wait! i do not have to do that because i can log on at work. hells yeah! i cannot wait. this is like christmas in the summer time.
jackson and i are on our way to bed so we can wait for UPS Santa tomorrow. LOL
good night one and all!
do we ever care what happens to our ex-lovers once they leave our lives and have gone on with theirs? do we worry if they are alright and doing well? are we happy for their relationships with new lovers? do we wish them success in whatever endeavor they decide to pursue?
my answer to all of these was a big YES! i understand that relationships sometimes fade for one reason or the other. the mark of maturity is how you deal with the situation once it has run its course.
all of the feelings that i had at the end of my last relationship can rushing back into my face while perusing other Multiply pages. how do you react when the person that you were "in love" with is one of the performers of a porn movie? even though i am not "in love" with this man anymore, i still love him with all of my heart. he is my 1st and my last love that was shared at a level of great intensity. he is the only man that has brought tears to my eyes for any reason. he is the only man that i took to meet family. he is the reason i came out openly to friends. he is the only man that i let lower my inhibitions that i made love to/with on a cross country trip by car. i experienced many 1sts and lasts with this man.
secretly, even though we have both gone on with our lives, i would check up on him from time to time. even though i was his lover, i still treated him like i was a protector or big brother. i am actually 12 years older than he is. he was 20 years old when we met. he was young, immature, hot headed and very determined. these are the reasons that i loved him and disliked him. those of you who have been in a relationship with a person much younger than you will understand what i am talking about. i loved his animalism when it came to us making love. to me, his sex was an addiction. i had to have it every chance i got. he was the same way. we had the type of physical relationship that knew no bounds and had no limits. even after we parted, for a long time we were still sexually exclusive and still stating we could not see each other ever again. that was until the next time. i looked at the video clip from beginning to end remembering what our sex lives were like and why i missed him. i had forgotten and haven't had that type of physical level with anyone since. i had finally gone on mentally with my life. with that, i am asking myself, "why do i even care? why does my heart feel a little broken at this moment?" i wish i knew the answer to that.
here is my comment on another multiply family member's site in response to the shock of seeing in a porn video with him in it posted on their site:
I want to say thank you to my Multiply visitors since I have been on hiatus. I should be back in action during this week. I am awaiting the arrival of a new Dell XPS M1530 laptop. It should be here either Tuesday or Wednesday. If you know how Dell's customer service works then you know there will be no "holding of the breath" at this household. They are notorious for saying one thing and doing another. The reason for the new laptop is to stay in touch with my Multiply family and better security from preying eyes. I need a unit that will have mobile broadband so I will always be connected. This will give me a chance to reply no matter where I am. I will be able to correspond on lunch and breaks. I can even correspond while at the dog park watching Jackson run around with the other dogs.Thank goodness for technology. Also, I wanted to make sure the new laptop has a fingerprint reader. It is always a pain to manually log in and out of a mobile unit and to make sure that no one can get into that unit when I step away from it. The fingerprint reader also takes the place of logging in and out of individual websites. I cannot wait for that ability. There will be less passwords to deal with, which should make being online a little more pleasant.
Well, enough of that. I cannot wait to be back online full time and without the time restrictions of coming home late and not having the time to log on. Let's see how things work out. I hope to talk to you all soon.